Avoiding fears and hurt can be fashioned in many ways. I have seen people so desperate to numb their pain, to avoid their fears, that they willingly throw themselves away in the process. Sure, it seems harmless at first, saying "just this once, it won't happen again," but then, a few weeks later, there you are and you feel like your world is spiraling out of control.
Maybe it was the careless way that you handled something, or maybe it is the innate fear that you will be a failure and make your parents' same mistakes. Maybe it's the fear of the unknown, or the fear that you will never be good enough. Fears can suffocate you and hurt you all the same. The brave ones in this world choose to face them, full-force; however, unfortunately, some spend so much time and energy attempting to run from them, they find themselves stumbling into the very thing they were afraid of... and by that point, it is oftentimes too late.
Every time the pain of an old heartache hits you, it is so much easier to tip back a Bud Light than it is to face reality and realize that maybe you were wrong. Maybe it was your fault and you were the one who handled things incorrectly. Cowards numb their pain, they run as far as they can away from being man enough to face them and not only admit that they were wrong, but do something to change it. Cowards bury themselves beneath distractions, only to tell themselves that right now is not the time.
Well, then tell me, when will be a good time? If you don't stand up on your two feet now, dust yourself off, and face the facts of life and your fears and hurt, when will you ever be ready? Old habits die hard, and I'd be willing to bet, if your escape is the bar today, it very well will be four weeks from now. And cowards never choose to change.
When will you stop numbing your pain and denying your fears? Isn't it time we all started trying to be the best versions of ourselves that we can? That we run towards our fears in the hopes and expectations to conquer them rather than cripple in their wake? Why are we so easily convinced that the mountain is much too tall to climb, that the future holds our destiny? We can just as easily choose to take life by the reins and run full-force in the direction that we so desperately hope that we deserve, deep down. Stop quivering at the unknown, belittling yourself to the sum of your mistakes and do something about it now. Now is all that you can be sure of.
Complacency is easy for the coward. He lives barricaded in by his own fears and hurt, so that he never experiences what was in store for him had he only chosen to grow and take a few chances. Discomfort is the home of the brave. They throw themselves into situations, never expecting failure, but hoping for lessons. If they fall down, they rise stronger; if they are hurt, they never shut themselves away, but instead see the lessons they were able to take from their pain. There is something unbelievably powerful in feeling the emotions that you have. Experiencing them in full, soaking them in their rawest, realest state.
So, you can choose to numb yourself every night with that bottle of whiskey, you can avoid your fears and your pain by numbing yourself, but at the end of the day, the buzz wears off and you wake up feeling worse off than you did before. And in that moment where you wake up and wonder how you got here, and why it is that your world so violently spirals out of control, I hope you get up and choose to feel. And whatever you feel, I hope it changes you. I hope it shapes you and causes you to take action... I hope you choose to do something to change it.
