"We cannot change our own hearts, but neither can we resist the change that God is determined to accomplish in us." -Barbara Duguid
In God's time, we grow in our relationship with Him. Despite our failings, He loves us the same because we are right where he intends for us to be.
"A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born, she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy... I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. -John 16:21-22, 33
Here, Jesus turns his disciples' grief into joy. "In all our troubles, my joy knows no bounds" (2 Cor. 7:4). God comforts the downcast and Godly sorrow leaves no regret. It brings earnestness, it produces longing and concern, it produces longing and concern, a readiness to see justice done.
He has set out to accomplish in all of us a wonderful plan written on his heart from the beginning. We have been on his mind and heart from the beginning!
He is saying, you may experience trouble, hardship, sorrows, pain, but it will give birth to joy. His plan always gives birth to joy. So we can stop trying to be "better" and forget the ludicrous idea that he is always disappointed in how we continually keep sinning and never seem to get any better.
We need him for strength, so he has allowed us to be weak. We need his joy, so he has allowed us to face troubles and pain.
His plan is far greater than we can tell, and hallelujah for that! It is all in His timing, he is working in our lives and allowing us to grow along his timetable. So, today I will stop trying to change my own heart (as if I even have that capability), and I will accept with open arms, and realize there's no avoiding, the changes he wants to bring to my heart — and why would I want to avoid them? They're what's best for me. For us.
So I'm not a disappointment, you're not a disappointment. I'm not too dirty, I don't have to feel bad for failing miserably at being a 'good Christian.' "Abundant joy here and now in Christ is our birthright and inheritance." No matter what. He meets us where we are. While I stare blankly at the truth of my sinful habits, my continual failings, I realize that Jesus hung on the cross for these specific sins. Where it might be typical to expect rebuke, disappointment, and rejection from our Savior, we actually can find ourselves "standing before a bleeding Jesus, naked, ashamed, and exposed, extending love, compassion, and infinite patience with my brokenness and weakness" (Barbara Duguid).
So I'm okay with not being a 'good Christian' and with not always having it all together. I'm okay with failing and being a mess 99% of the time, because He meets me there! He extends his love as far as He needs to. And his love brings joy, and that's what it's all about... a Savior willing to love the most sinful.
Praise Jesus! Let's walk in that joy today.
I highly recommend reading "Extravagant Grace" by Barbara Duguid. Her book is inspired by The Letters of John Newton and is extremely powerful. This blogpost was inspired by reading her first two chapters, and I by no means take credit for her ideas, but simply wanted to share what I am learning from her teaching.
