Time

I hate change. I hate that empty, gut-wrenching moment when you look back at an empty room that is still so full of memories and laughs, and you have to turn around and walk away. Tears fill your eyes and goodbyes never seem to go easily, but life doesn't stop when you feel overwhelmed. It never stops, no matter what. And life goes on, despite the heartache of nostalgia and the fear of what is to come next. The clock ceaselessly ticks on, even in those moments when we desperately wish it wouldn't. But if we never embrace the change, if we never turn our backs on the old room, how will we ever experience the beautiful memories to come with the next?

There's no sense in holding onto something that is already gone, it just prevents us from stepping forward and experiencing the new adventure that awaits. Tears swell up in my eyes looking at my half-empty room, wondering where the hell the time went? How is my sophomore year already gone? How is my brother graduating? Everything seems to be moving in fast-forward and I cannot keep up. I realize how I haven't cherished my life. My every moment; the hard ones, the good ones, the unbelievable ones, the boring ones, the ones where I was afraid or alone, the times when I was so full of life and love, the ones where I could hardly pull myself up in the mornings. I should cherish them all. Every moment, every breath. The days where I am bored and alone, the days where I am delighted in the fun and company of others. I will never get a moment back, ever. Why waste a moment in anger? In bitterness? Sad or regretful?

Looking back on this year, I choose to look forward. I thank God for the memories and for the time I had here, but I plan to cherish every moment at home for the summer, and every last moment of my Junior year. Time moves all too fast and before I know it, I will be looking back on my life wondering how I became 85? I plan to look back in fulfillment and gladness; I never want to ask, "what if?"