Trying to wrap my head around the complexities of life right now, and all I can do is smile. Smile at the way that things fall together, the surprises life throws at you. It really doesn't make sense to me how the chaos of today builds the very structure of tomorrow.
With time, someone I used to talk to every day has become a distant stranger, the ache in my heart from a goodbye has dulled, and I have met people and cared for people I didn't ever imagine meeting. The thing is, that if it had been up to me, if I could have chosen upon first instinct, I probably wouldn't have chosen the way that it went. Without being able to see the beauty that would be created from the wreckage of heartache, the throb of depression, the struggle to find myself, I likely would have chosen to stay where I was. I would have settled by making that choice, without even realizing it. But, thankfully, time ushered me on.
And I suppose that's the beauty of time, that you cannot see into it, and the way it forces us further into the journey of life. Time is the distance between who you are and who you want to be; the distance between who you were and who you have become. Did you use it wisely?
Time can heal old wounds, it can allow your heart to mend. It allows you a new slate, one provided every 24 hours, fresh with possibility. Time can also hurt those hours that are neglected, those moments of silence that you can't ever take back. Because time is a mirror of the heart. The things we dedicate our time to hold value to us, whether that be our studies, our work, our friends, or our family. Ultimately, we all know that time is fleeting; and therefore, it shouldn't be wasted.
We know that, we're told that. But do we really recognize the weight that comes with those words? Do we actually realize that we are responsible for the way we spend our time?
For the longest time, I was haunted by the way that loved ones can become strangers in almost the blink of an eye. It is haunting, how someone who used to be the first person you told things to can become someone you haven't talked to in a year. But that's only part of the story. You see, what can also happen in the blink of an eye is that strangers can become loved ones. And I think we forget the potential in that.
Humans are creatures of habit. We find our group, our friends, and we hardly ever branch out from them. And that's okay, we can't be friends with everyone. But, the potential that strangers carry is the potential for being shaped, the potential to be influenced, to be inspired. I know that oftentimes, I lose sight of the fact that the person in line with me at Starbucks is a person, just like myself, with struggles of their own, very similar to mine. And maybe a few shared sentences doesn't seem like much, but the fun in it is that there's genuinely nothing to lose, but everything to gain.
You never know what could spark from a smile, from a hushed joke or a laugh with a stranger. At the very least, it could make their day. At the most, it could change your life.
I think about the way I met one of my very best friends and how we were in line as freshmen here at Clemson. I can still remember every detail of the conversation. It was so simple in nature, small talk about what we expected from our year. If you had told me that friend would be the friend who would change my view on so many things, who would challenge me and believe in me when I didn't have the strength to do so myself, I would have been taken aback. But she was. And it all started with a little small talk. I wonder every now and then if that would be the case if we had never exchanged glances, smiled, and said "hi".
My mind also wanders to this sweet boy I recently met. How just a little conversation has sparked something that has so much potential. Something that I want to believe in, that I hope for. I think about how both of these people and I have discussed, between laughs, how far we have come from those first moments.
I know that through the ebb and flow of life, the hellos we at one time giggle about can become the hellos we shed a tear over. Because sometimes, they come with goodbyes. Or "see ya laters." But is that any reason to avoid the joy of the hello? Sure, it sucks, that gut-wrenching ache you feel when you begin the journey of letting go, but would you really trade the whole experience just to avoid the pain?
The way I see it, things happen for us at certain times because they're what we needed at that moment. Whether it be a relationship, a goodbye, or time alone. These events mold us into the people that we are. They are the stepping stones that lead to who we want to be. The hellos give us hope. The goodbyes force us to be strong. The time alone is to help us grow. And time encompasses all of these things.
I suppose the main thing I was trying to say was that time is beautiful, and complex, and scary, and yet so wonderful. It's also fleeting, but it's in our hands. It ushers us along when we need the assistance, but for the most part, we choose how we spend our time. We can spend it avoiding hellos for fear of the goodbyes that may or may not follow, we can spend it running from a goodbye for fear of the necessary hellos that will follow, or we can cherish both and trust the beautiful journey and how it will mold us. Time is the distance between who we are and who we want to be. Are we using it wisely?
With time, someone I used to talk to every day has become a distant stranger, the ache in my heart from a goodbye has dulled, and I have met people and cared for people I didn't ever imagine meeting. The thing is, that if it had been up to me, if I could have chosen upon first instinct, I probably wouldn't have chosen the way that it went. Without being able to see the beauty that would be created from the wreckage of heartache, the throb of depression, the struggle to find myself, I likely would have chosen to stay where I was. I would have settled by making that choice, without even realizing it. But, thankfully, time ushered me on.
And I suppose that's the beauty of time, that you cannot see into it, and the way it forces us further into the journey of life. Time is the distance between who you are and who you want to be; the distance between who you were and who you have become. Did you use it wisely?
Time can heal old wounds, it can allow your heart to mend. It allows you a new slate, one provided every 24 hours, fresh with possibility. Time can also hurt those hours that are neglected, those moments of silence that you can't ever take back. Because time is a mirror of the heart. The things we dedicate our time to hold value to us, whether that be our studies, our work, our friends, or our family. Ultimately, we all know that time is fleeting; and therefore, it shouldn't be wasted.
We know that, we're told that. But do we really recognize the weight that comes with those words? Do we actually realize that we are responsible for the way we spend our time?
For the longest time, I was haunted by the way that loved ones can become strangers in almost the blink of an eye. It is haunting, how someone who used to be the first person you told things to can become someone you haven't talked to in a year. But that's only part of the story. You see, what can also happen in the blink of an eye is that strangers can become loved ones. And I think we forget the potential in that.
Humans are creatures of habit. We find our group, our friends, and we hardly ever branch out from them. And that's okay, we can't be friends with everyone. But, the potential that strangers carry is the potential for being shaped, the potential to be influenced, to be inspired. I know that oftentimes, I lose sight of the fact that the person in line with me at Starbucks is a person, just like myself, with struggles of their own, very similar to mine. And maybe a few shared sentences doesn't seem like much, but the fun in it is that there's genuinely nothing to lose, but everything to gain.
You never know what could spark from a smile, from a hushed joke or a laugh with a stranger. At the very least, it could make their day. At the most, it could change your life.
I think about the way I met one of my very best friends and how we were in line as freshmen here at Clemson. I can still remember every detail of the conversation. It was so simple in nature, small talk about what we expected from our year. If you had told me that friend would be the friend who would change my view on so many things, who would challenge me and believe in me when I didn't have the strength to do so myself, I would have been taken aback. But she was. And it all started with a little small talk. I wonder every now and then if that would be the case if we had never exchanged glances, smiled, and said "hi".
My mind also wanders to this sweet boy I recently met. How just a little conversation has sparked something that has so much potential. Something that I want to believe in, that I hope for. I think about how both of these people and I have discussed, between laughs, how far we have come from those first moments.
I know that through the ebb and flow of life, the hellos we at one time giggle about can become the hellos we shed a tear over. Because sometimes, they come with goodbyes. Or "see ya laters." But is that any reason to avoid the joy of the hello? Sure, it sucks, that gut-wrenching ache you feel when you begin the journey of letting go, but would you really trade the whole experience just to avoid the pain?
The way I see it, things happen for us at certain times because they're what we needed at that moment. Whether it be a relationship, a goodbye, or time alone. These events mold us into the people that we are. They are the stepping stones that lead to who we want to be. The hellos give us hope. The goodbyes force us to be strong. The time alone is to help us grow. And time encompasses all of these things.
I suppose the main thing I was trying to say was that time is beautiful, and complex, and scary, and yet so wonderful. It's also fleeting, but it's in our hands. It ushers us along when we need the assistance, but for the most part, we choose how we spend our time. We can spend it avoiding hellos for fear of the goodbyes that may or may not follow, we can spend it running from a goodbye for fear of the necessary hellos that will follow, or we can cherish both and trust the beautiful journey and how it will mold us. Time is the distance between who we are and who we want to be. Are we using it wisely?
No comments:
Post a Comment