Dear handsome,
Do you know what's fun?
The crooked grin you give me right before you tell me I'm adorable.
The gentleness in your eyes when you lock them with mine. The way your lips purse as though you could kiss me while we FaceTime.
The way I can see your heart break when I cry, even if you aren't here. And if you are, the way you wipe those tears and kiss my forehead wrinkles from worrying too much.
It's the way your hand fits flawlessly in mine, and feels so soft against my skin. The way you can make me cry by telling me how beautiful I am. How you love every inch of me, and praise the parts of me I hate the most.
The thing that I find the most fun is knowing that I get to marry you. Because I'm gonna... just you wait. And it's going to be more beautiful than a fairytale wedding, because it's two broken people finding the love of our God in the love they give each other. And that's pretty cool.
And it's all pretty cool because, while we credit our friends to introducing us, really it was him all along. He was scheming the day we were both born. Our very first breaths, he knew the troubles we'd overcome and the great joy we'd find when we found each other. He giggled at the thought that we'd finally have a tiny glimpse into the kind of love he provides.
And that's the craziest thing of all. That this love is just so imperfect compared to his. Because it feels so perfect to me. Even when you drive me crazy with your jokes and how you know exactly how to get under my skin, this love of ours is the best thing I've seen here on earth.
And I can't wait for our lives together. Till you hold my hands in yours, and slide that ring on my finger and-- well I'm gonna cry, just know that. Because the way you pursue me and chase me even when I fail you daily is just a representation of how well he loves us. How he calls us back to him every single time we stray, how he tells me I'm his and he never left me when I stumble, defeated, back into his "bedroom." He cups my face and asks me why I settled for so much less than I deserved. He calls me his even when I'm the messiest of them all, while he stands there in perfection.
So, here's to us. Thank you for loving me. Every goofy, nerdy, silly part of me. But most of all, thanks for loving the parts of me that are messy, that are complicated and dark. The parts of me I don't tell many people. The parts of me I try to ignore. The coldest parts of me are made warm with your words of love and adoration. You remind me of our wonderful creator in how you adore me. How you praise the parts of me I've never wanted to share.
I suppose that's the blessing of relationships. That's why he's called us to be in relationship with one another. And so, I can only hope to do the same for you. To love you when you're at your lowest, to love the deepest, darkest parts of you. I can't imagine losing you, handsome. Because I'm yours forever, now.
Our God is so humble. The way he allows other people-- his creations-- to draw us back to him when all the while, he wasn't good enough? He understands a humans heart. He understands how hard it is to imagine something that seems so foreign. But it doesn't seem so foreign now. Because I've experienced the kind of love that could win battles. I've experienced the kind of love that could tear down walls. And now I understand that we're not simply placed here, pursuing whatever we want.
How can the world not see it? The love poured out around us, everywhere? Oh it's simply the most beautiful awakening I've ever had.
So let's take on this life together. Let's learn and pursue him more than we pursue ourselves. Because without Him, would there even be love on this earth? We are so very blessed.
I love you,
Your sweetheart
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