Find your joy. Run with it.

We plaster over our cracks, glue together our broken pieces, and put on a happy face. We pretend like we're okay until we reach the point where we're the farthest thing from it. Why do we place so much value on the approval of others? As selfish as we are, I think we are selfish for others. We want cute clothes so others like us. We want a nice car so others think we're cool. We push ourselves to a breaking point, always trying to appear perfect so that needing help is unusual-- intriguing to others. That is a good kind of selfish... the kind where you put yourself first and begin to take care of yourself. And yet, the bad forms of selfishness are overlooked as normal, accepted, expected.

For the longest time, I have been the bad kind of selfish-- in order to gain the approval of others so I feel good about myself. But I have continually neglected my deeper needs-- the parts of me that were aching to be taken care of. But I ignored taking care of myself. Because I just wanted to appear normal. Well I've given the people in my life too much power. I've let them determine my happiness and every time have ended up heart broken and upset. But now, it's time for a change. I'm done trying to be happy for my family, for my friends. I'm done trying to look a certain way to be beautiful. I'm done blending in and standing in the background because I'm insecure. I'm going to begin trying to be happy for me. I'm going to value myself. I'm going to start doing things for me and I'm not going to let anyone give me hard time about it. "Find what makes you happy and RUN with it." I'm gonna get better. I'm not gonna cry over crappy friends. I'm not gonna sit around feeling worthless. Because there's a point when selfless becomes senseless and you have to step up and pull yourself together.

The eyes you use to see right now... they are clouded-- you cannot see that you are loved, beautiful, original and cherished. But you have to try a little harder to see around the fog. You have to figure out what's standing in the way. You are so strong. You can do this. I promise you. You have made it this far. Keep setting small goals. Baby steps. You have so many people cheering you on... but now it's your turn to cheer yourself on. Don't be ashamed.. you were granted this hardship in order to later shine God's glory. He's all over this. You know He's never left you. He has carried you all this way. After all, you're still here, aren't you?